Lifestyle Choices

Training: If you have had training you can probably find job opportunities through your professional body or through reading or advertising in your professional journal.

Assuming that you haven’t had any training prior to marriage and aren’t coping with pre-school age children, what is available? Most women are unskilled. Only 6 per cent receive any further training when they leave school. However, there are suitable training courses for `mature students’, the official description of any woman over twenty- three. You can exploit a talent which you already possess and are practising in your home (sewing or cooking) or be trained by a firm who wishes to employ you, or at one of the many courses at a local technical college. Generally what is difficult to acquire isn’t really the training, or even the job, but the determination to forget embarrassment, laziness or shyness — and go out and get it. (more…)

If you are bored or unhappy at work, or the pressure feels too great, consider changing jobs. You do not have to do the job that you are doing. You can speak to your boss or supervisor about changing departments at the place where you work, or you can leave altogether. This may be difficult when you are depressed, and there may be considerable pressure on you to maintain a steady income. However, even if you decide not to change jobs, the knowledge that you can will take some of the pressure off. The thought that this is your lot, that your fate is to work like this till retirement, is a thought of your own making. If you don’t want to change jobs, consider: (more…)

The most debilitating effect of unemployment and retirementcan be the feeling of uselessness. Such a feeling may prevent you getting another job and render you of less use than you need to be. If you feel like this, consider the following:

Do something useful. It does not matter how small it is. Choose a small, though useful task, such as putting the children to bed, cleaning something or repairing something in the house or garden. Any completed task will give you a better feeling about yourself (see Reasons for living, overleaf).

If you are unemployed, remember that an attitude of despondency will stop you getting another job. If you feel despondent when you go to a job interview, act. Muster all the enthusiasm you can, practise it on friends and act eager and interested at the interview. It quite often happens that the initial pretence breaks through a barrier to your genuine enthusiasm. Do as much research as possible on the job you are applying for and gather every bit of available information on potential jobs. Consider doing jobs that you would not normally consider, just to get yourself started and to regain some self-respect. (more…)

`I have little time for myself, but the children are only young and so demanding for a short time. I plan to take up other hobbies when they are older.’

`I think I have sacrificed less personally, but as it contributed to my divorce, my son has to cope with a lot. However, now that I have graduated with a first-class degree, he sees me as something of a “role model”.’

Sheila, 31, guidance development assistant/part-time student

`I feel I’ve got everything, a great job, wonderful family, but often I am so tired I can hardly speak. I need another few hours in the day.’

Karen, 28, caterer

`I don’t have much time for myself, but am a 100 per cent better person for going out to work to when I stayed at home. Someone once said that children are a gift, and you should give up everything for them. They didn’t have children.’

Michele, 31, secretary (more…)

`Male attitudes must change; men expect wives to take on a job, do the school runs, cook and clean etc. and still want sex at night. My ex-husband’s attitude was: “Well, you wanted to go back to work, so you can fit it in with all the other jobs.”‘

Raye, 49, PA

`I think things are getting more difficult for working mothers rather than easier, because there is an office culture now that says it’s not the quality of your work that matters, it’s the hours that you put in that counts. If you leave on time, you’re not seen as being committed to the organization. There is a huge drive within many organizations to reduce costs, so people are made redundant or not replaced and those that remain are expected to work harder and harder. This turns many people against returning to work after the birth of a first child. In many organizations good, skilled labour is in short supply. Where I work we need good, skilled nurses. So, I really feel that we have no choice. We have to be considerate to people’s family needs and value people’s lives outside work or we will continue to lose good people.’

Annie, 42, NHS chief executive

`Our children rely on us to care for them, whether in paid employment or not. No one is perfect, but provided we manage to care for them, and love them, and they know it, I cannot see that it makes one iota of difference whether women work or not. After all, many fathers are loved, needed, and play a part in family life while they work.’

Margaret, 47, senior medical laboratory scientific officer

The Government should do its duty and make available proper childcare facilities. Women are a vital part of our working community and should not have to choose between motherhood

and careers.’

Susan, 27, insurance clerk (more…)

`Male attitudes must change; men expect wives to take on a job, do the school runs, cook and clean etc. and still want sex at night. My ex-husband’s attitude was: “Well, you wanted to go back to work, so you can fit it in with all the other jobs.”‘

Raye, 49, PA

`I think things are getting more difficult for working mothers rather than easier, because there is an office culture now that says it’s not the quality of your work that matters, it’s the hours that you put in that counts. If you leave on time, you’re not seen as being committed to the organization. There is a huge drive within many organizations to reduce costs, so people are made redundant or not replaced and those that remain are expected to work harder and harder. This turns many people against returning to work after the birth of a first child. In many organizations good, skilled labour is in short supply. Where I work we need good, skilled nurses. So, I really feel that we have no choice. We have to be considerate to people’s family needs and value people’s lives outside work or we will continue to lose good people.’

Annie, 42, NHS chief executive (more…)