Lifestyle Choices

To some extent the angry liberationists are right. We as women have been raised to believe that we are dependent, selfless, sweet and passive creatures. The cultural roles handed down to us from generation to generation demand the needs of others. By learning to conform to these feminine roles, although we may not be consciously aware of it we suppress natural qualities within us that don’t fit into the notion we have of “feminine”—such things as physical strength, independence, pride, and anger. For in our culture these qualities are traditionally labeled “male,” although, in truth, both male and female qualities exist in all of us and need to work together if we are to use our potential and are to express our wholeness and individuality as a human being of whatever sex. (more…)

The “dependent” type (sometimes called “oral” in psycho- analytical literature) looks to others to provide a sense of worth, emotional care, physical care and even a reason for living. His underlying attitude is that others should go out of their way to provide for him and in fact that they owe him care. His catch phrase is “I can’t”, which translated means: “You must do it for me”. He believes he should not have to work, especially physically, and that one way or another theworld is responsible for taking care of him.

If your attitudes were as obvious as these, you might find ithard to live with yourself without changing. Such attitudes are usually disguised — you do not think “Ah! this woman gives me a sense of worth and makes me want to live,” but you fall madly in love, believing that she is everything. (more…)