Lifestyle Choices

`My mother-in-law crashed the car and I got a call about it at work, in the middle of an important meeting. I dropped everything and rushed home.’

Catherine, 39, senior secretary

`Louis being sick in our gift shop in front of two customers. Louis hiding my car keys in afiling cabinet while my back was turned, so I had to beg for a lift home and spent the whole day the next day searching for them.’

Angela, 35, buyer (for a charity)

`Having a serious business meeting while my two-year-old son had a tantrum with his father outside the office door— terrible!’
Ann, 41, chartered accountant

`I am about to embark upon it: my mother-in-law (chief helper) is about to go into hospital for two new knee replacements. The following month my senior therapist goes on holiday for three weeks and one of my junior therapists is leaving and as yet I have not found a suitable replacement. My salon is open 9 am to 9 pm seven days a week and I will be on my own.’

Wendy, 36, beauty therapist

‘Between childminders I had to bring my two-month-old baby in to work with me. It was a nightmare. I even changed her nappy on the conference room table and she had to attend a

meeting with Me. NEVEPR/ma

Jane, 35, rketing manager

`Coping with the trauma of divorce and having to continue to work, as well as bringing up as child.’

Lesley, 4o, photogpher/book-keeper

`Having to try to get home when there wasn’t a train for five hours. When I told my boss, and bearing in mind that it was the first time this had happened in five years, all he said was: “What are you going to do about making up the lost time?” I was fuming. Luckily, another colleague drove me l00 miles to the next station, and I’d already put in more than sufficient hours at that stage’ (more…)

`I have little time for myself, but the children are only young and so demanding for a short time. I plan to take up other hobbies when they are older.’

`I think I have sacrificed less personally, but as it contributed to my divorce, my son has to cope with a lot. However, now that I have graduated with a first-class degree, he sees me as something of a “role model”.’

Sheila, 31, guidance development assistant/part-time student

`I feel I’ve got everything, a great job, wonderful family, but often I am so tired I can hardly speak. I need another few hours in the day.’

Karen, 28, caterer

`I don’t have much time for myself, but am a 100 per cent better person for going out to work to when I stayed at home. Someone once said that children are a gift, and you should give up everything for them. They didn’t have children.’

Michele, 31, secretary (more…)

(When sleeping women wake, mountains move. Chinese proverb)

Affirmations are a very effective way to use positive self-talk and to anchor it in your subconscious. They can even be a form of prayer. Affirmations are phrases you repeat to yourself on a daily basis. It is not important that you may not believe them at first. We all have an inner dialogue to contend with, which may not agree with our affirmation. The key is to master this nagging voice. Understand it is a normal part of reaching beyond your comfort zone. When you hear your inner dialogue speaking louder than your affirmation, acknowledge it, but be aware you have a choice. You can listen to it or choose not to. You have the power and ability to control it. It’s that simple. It is a good idea to write your statements on cards and place these around your environment where you will see them every day: on the fridge, bathroom mirror, beside your bed, in your car, in your diary, on your desk at work, etc.

Always formulate your affirmations in the present tense. ‘I have’ or ‘I am‘ is a good way to start. Your subconscious mind is so obedient that if you declare your affirmation in the future tense, such as ‘I want’ or ‘I will have: then it will always stay just out of your reach — in the future. Start to listen to yourself and others carefully. If you find that people say ‘You always say that: take heed. They may be revealing something about yourself you weren’t aware of. (more…)

`If I am ill, I keep working unless I’m dying (not literally). I have an excellent family who would help me if Charlotte was ill. The nursery has plenty of staff so I never have to worry. If any of them are ill, they have cover.’

Karen, 28, caterer

Feel as the company is paying me to work seven hours a day for so many days in the year, that it is up to me to be there, unless I am genuinely ill; I take any other time off as holidays, or possibly unpaid. It is not the company’s responsibility that I have a child, although I would expect them to show compassion in a real emergency, as I hope they would if it was a partner or parent who was ill.’

Audrey, 41, admin supervisor

I always have a back-up organized. I have never needed to take time off because of child illness.’

Sue, 35, training manager

`If I’m ill, I struggle to cook and look after Emma as usual I save annual leave for when Emma or my carer is ill, and use flexitime or other help.’

Maria, 33, accountant (more…)

`I feel guilty if my house has not been hoovered from top to bottom twice a week. If my house is a mess, I am a mess and that upsets me.’

Joy, 4i, general assistant business proprietor/care assistant

`I worry all the time that I am doing neither job (parenting/paid work) well, although I’m told the opposite.’

Jackie, 36, accounts clerk/estate agent

`Yes, I did feel guilty when I worked part time. I was not really satisfied with any task, whether at home or at work. Now my day at work is rewarding and I am less tired than when I worked 9.3o am to 3 pm, when I never seemed to be in the right place at the right time!’ (more…)