Lifestyle Choices

Marilyn Monroe is good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short.

Death will be a great relief. No more interviews.

I got all the schooling any actress needs — I learned to write enough to sign contracts.

Great storytellers, even ones who have been dead for a hundred years, show up extant television writers as semiliterate, unimaginative comatose cliché-mongers.

I see my body just as a classy chassis to carry my mind around in.

I got a letter from Princess Diana thanking me for taking her out of the headlines.

When I watched Spencer Tracy playing in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde I had great difficulty deciding which of them he was portraying at any given moment.

Getting the costumes right in Cleopatra was like polishing the fish-knives on the Titanic.

The only moving thing about the TV show Neighbours is the scenery.

Reviewers fall into two classes — those who have little to say and those who have nothing.

As in the outfitting of the Titanic, no expense has been spared on this production of The Romans in Britain.

Diane Keaton’s acting style is really a nervous breakdown in slow motion.

In writing a western, there has to be woman, but not much of one. A good horse is much more important.

I’ve played everything except women and midgets.

Once a newspaper touches a story the facts are lost for ever, even to the protagonists.

Moi, in the altogether? Honey, no studio has that much money.

A satire which the censor is able to understand deserves to be banned.

The first rule of comedy is never perform in a town where they still point at aeroplanes.

If my films make even one more person feel miserable, I’ll feel I’ve done my job.

I am pleased that television is now showing murder stories because it is bringing murder back into its rightful setting — the home.

I’ve always said there’s a place for the press but they haven’t dug it yet.

A foreign correspondent is someone who flies around from hotel to hotel and thinks that the most interesting thing about any story is the fact that he has arrived to cover it.

Before I went to see Deep Throat, I thought it was a film about a giraffe.

This film wasn’t released — it escaped.

Pinter’s The Birthday Party was like a vintage Hitchcock thriller which has been edited by a cross-eyed studio janitor with a lawnmower.

Fred Astaire was great, but don’t forget that Ginger Rogers did everything that he did, backwards and in high heels.

I hesitate to say what the functions of the modern journalist may be, but I imagine that they do not exclude the intelligent anticipation of facts before they occur.

Too caustic? To hell with the cost; we’ll make the movie anyway.

The Chase is the worst thing that has happened to movies since Lassie played a war veteran with amnesia.

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