Lifestyle Choices

It is the nature of every man, woman and child to expand, to explore, to celebrate life and to express oneself. Too often, however, as our core energy flows forth, it gets blocked. Why? In a small part because we pick up a lot of misguided notions as we grow up. They come from parental training, from religion, from school. Then, unbeknown to us, they become part of our belief system, our worldview, and limit our lives in a thousand ways.

SCRUB THE BRAINWASHING

Without realizing it, we bring these notions to the relationship table. Once there, they interfere with our ability to connect authentically person to person, soul to soul. ‘I should always be kind,’ `I mustn’t say what I really think’ or ‘I might hurt her feelings.’ ‘Men are self-centred.’ ‘Women have to stand up for themselves.’ `Marriage is forever.’ Our distorted views and expectations get foisted onto others, creating all sorts of ’shoulds’ and `shouldn’ts’ for us and them. Then, when in relationships our expectations are not met, we can fall into the familiar bitching or whining of which women are so often accused: ‘If you really loved me you would…’ ‘You never listen.’ You know the drill. Under such pressure even the best relationship can turn sour and become frustrating, deadening, or full of grief. This doesn’t have to happen so long as you get the most important relationship in your life right: the relationship with yourself.

The only way to relate honestly to friends, children, lovers, workmates, even pets, is to honour yourself at the deepest possible level first. When you do — and it’s got to be real, you can’t fake this — you open yourself to a universe of unprecedented vitality, satisfaction, excitement and connections with other people that really work.

You begin to experience the kind of connections with others that do not bind. Instead, they free the spirits of all involved. Rules and regulations dissolve to be replaced by a directness, honesty and vitality so satisfying that you wonder why you ever chose roles, rules and obligations in the first place.

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