Lifestyle Choices

Express Your Feelings

Depressed feelings need to be expressed. Keeping a tight lid on one’s feelings will, in the long run, intensify the feelings and drive one to deeper levels of depression. If you have a friend or a confidant, speak to him candidly about how you feel. The tendency in depressed people is to withdraw from others and this adds to their sense of isolation. Loneliness is not good for depression. It can worsen depression. So resist the tendency to withdraw into your own world.

Asians are not used to expressing emotions in words but they have no problem relating their physical symptoms. On the other hand, it may require effort for a person unaccustomed to sharing personal difficulties to talk about feelings, thoughts, hopes, shattered dreams, failures, beliefs and perceptions and to reflect on these issues and consider how to express them in words. The reason for this difficulty is that it is not part of our culture and certainly this is not a reflection of our educational level or level of intelligence. We are less verbal about our emotions. This is especially true in males, not only in this part of the world but also in the West. Men generally do not like to express their feelings. It could be regarded as less than manly to acknowledge one’s failings and vulnerabilities to others.

Time Management

Depressed persons often do not want to do anything. This is not because they are lazy, but rather, because they lack the energy and drive to carry out their activities. If this energy deficiency is severe enough, they will not be well enough to go to work. They may be given medical leave or choose to resign from work. If they do not do anything with their time at home, they will ultimately feel useless for not accomplishing anything.

Think about activities that brought pleasure and which are no longer done after depression set in. Starting with small steps, begin to get back into doing them. Set realistic goals. In light of your depression, you may not be able to achieve what you were previously capable of, but doing something simple is better than not attempting at all. The following suggestions will assist you to manage your time.

1. Plan a simple schedule of activities starting from waking time till bedtime. Divide the day into one-hour intervals. While it is understandable that even simple chores may seem difficult, it may be wise to break up complex tasks into simpler components. For example, if the activity is to clean the refrigerator, make a plan of action. It would be good to invite a friend or relative to help, preferably someone who is supportive and who understands a little about your illness. Discuss the plan with the helper. Divide the cleaning into steps and discuss what each step entails, and what materials are needed.
2. Schedule periods for meals, rest and exercise. If the plan is to cook, then schedule a time for food preparation, grocery shopping and washing up. Get someone to help do some of the chores.
3. Schedule periods for household chores, doing a little at a time, for example, tidy your room, or wash the dishes.
4. Evaluate the success of the plan at the end of the day. Congratulate yourself if you have carried out each item on the schedule. Do not worry too much or start condemning yourself if you fail to carry out any task. Ask yourself the reason for not carrying out the activity. Was the activity too challenging? Was there too little motivation? How could it be achieved the next time? Who could render assistance in performing the task?

Social Interaction

If you have withdrawn from your friends, make some effort to meet up again. Pick up the phone and have a short conversation with a friend. Have lunch with a classmate or attend a birthday celebration. You do not have to spend a lot of time at the function; an hour would be sufficient initially.

Even though the natural inclination is to keep to oneself, it is advisable to be in regular contact with friends or family. There is no need to talk about one’s problems; just being around with people helps rid one of feelings of isolation and loneliness. Be around supportive and friendly persons who can give you a listening ear if necessary. They need only to listen and should not be people who might make you feel worse by getting irritated with you or giving you harsh advice. If others are talking, do not exclude yourself from the conversation by totally switching off. Join in and offer a few words. Take a little interest in what others are saying. Stop paying attention to your own worries and problems. Switch attention away from yourself. If you are not comfortable about discussing your problems, you may politely inform those around you that you might want to discuss this another time. They will get the message that you do not wish to discuss your problems there and then. But do not get offended with them because they are merely expressing concern for you. Appreciate them for it, because it is not easy to broach a subject when one is not sure how the other person will respond.

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