Lifestyle Choices

If feelings become so painful and overwhelming that you feel like harming yourself or others, you need to get help right away. Speak to a parent, an adult or a doctor. Ring the

SOS or teenage helpline for crisis counselling. In the meantime, the following suggestions can offer some solace until you find someone you can talk to:

Many teens who have attempted suicide (and survived) say that they did it because they had mistakenly felt that there was no other solution to the problem they were experiencing. At the time, they could not see another way out — but in truth, there is always a way out, even if they could not see it there and then. No matter how horrible you are feeling now, these emotions can, and will, pass.

• Having thoughts of hurting yourself or others does not solve your problem. It can create more problems and worse ones. It may lead you to develop a self-harming habit. It may leave you with ugly scars, which attract unwelcome attention and become a topic of embarrassment. Even if nobody asks, they will notice your scars and wonder at your stability then and now. This may influence your ability to get a job. You may have to wear long sleeves to hide the scars. There is always something you want to hide, and this will affect your self- confidence. This may influence your ability to get a job.
• These remarks are not meant to make a person with scars feel self-conscious or condemned. Whatever marks inflicted on oneself cannot be erased. Instead put a stop to further wrist slashing and self mutilation. It will not help in the long run. It is true that depression can cause you to hurt yourself. No one should judge you or condemn you for these feelings if you are seeking treatment. Be brave and seek help to learn new ways of coping with your frustrations.
• If your feelings are uncontrollable, tell yourself to wait 24 hours before you take any action. This can give you time to really think things through and give yourself some distance from the strong emotions that are plaguing you. During this 24-hour period, try to talk to someone — anyone, as long as they are not another suicidal or depressed person. Call a hotline or talk to a friend. What do you have to lose?
• Make sure you are never alone during this difficult time. Even if you can’t verbalise your feelings, just stay in public places and hang out with your friends or family members — anything to keep you from being alone and harming yourself.
• Do not do anything that could cause permanent harm to yourself or result in your death. Suicide is a “permanent solution to a temporary problem”. Suicide will permanently affect your family, friends and loved ones. They will bear the emotional scars of your actions for life. Help is available — all you need to do is to take that first step and reach out to someone.

Depression is not your fault, and you didn’t do anything to cause it. However, you can do things which will help you feel better. Staying connected to friends and family, confiding your feelings with someone you trust, receiving professional help and making healthy lifestyle decisions can all have a huge positive impact on your mood.

Ask for Help If You’re Stressed

Stress and worry can take a big toll. Talk to a teacher or school counsellor if exams or classes seem overwhelming. They can help you approach your parents (if necessary) and guide you towards appropriate treatment.

If you are dealing with relationship, friendship or family problems, talk to an adult you trust. Your school may have a counsellor you can go to for help, or you may want to ask your parents to make an appointment for you to see a counsellor.

Try Not to Isolate Yourself

When you are depressed, you may not feel like seeing anybody or doing anything. Just getting out of bed in the morning can be difficult, but isolating yourself only makes depression worse. Make it a point to be around people, even if that’s the last thing you want to do. As you get out into the world, you may find yourself feeling better.

Spend time with friends, especially those who are active, upbeat and make you feel good about yourself. Avoid hanging out with those who abuse drugs or alcohol, get you into trouble or make you feel insecure. Keeping in touch with friends through phone calls, text messaging and other modern means, such as instant messaging and blogging, are also ways you can maintain social ties. On the other hand, you should limit the time you spend on solo activities such as playing video games or surfing online, as these can further increase your isolation.

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