Lifestyle Choices

Almost every healthy person at some time has had a desire to be married. This is the most natural thing in the world.

There may be various reasons for this desire— love, sex, security, companionship, and so forth —but the urge is usually there. And yet it takes far more than a mere urge for one to be happy in marriage. Surely there must be some counsel that young and old can follow to avoid the mistakes so many are making every day.

 

Is Love Enough?

Why is it that some marriages fail completely and others seem far from happy? What makes these marriages begin to fall apart in the first place? Some may ask, “Isn’t love enough?” The answer is “No.” Love is always very important, but there are other things to be considered also. In fact, most marital problems would never arise if husbands and wives would realize how many little things there are besides love that are involved in making their marriage a success. Love is vitally important, but if these other things are overlooked, there is bound to be trouble.

What are some of these other things that irritate married people and cause them to lose confidence in one another? Foolish habits and mannerisms, a lack of consideration for each other’s needs, unfair and cutting remarks, little attention to dress and appearance—these are just a few. Some think that a lack of proper sexual adjustment is the principal cause of trouble in the home. In some cases this may be true, but in others it is the little things that seem to start the trouble.

 

Cutting the Apron Strings

There may be times when the husband or the wife is tied closely to his or her parents. Perhaps one or the other has not fully grown up, and there may be considerable dependence upon the parents. This always causes serious trouble. Family traditions should not be allowed to come between the husband and wife. It is important for young people to break these strong ties of dependency upon their parents. Unless they do, they will never become mature people and able to meet the problems of life in their own right.

Most young people tend to become more and more independent as they grow older. Although some parents may dislike this attitude, it is actually nature’s way of helping the young person to grow up and make his own decisions. In other words, he must “cut the apron strings” and begin to strike out for himself. At the dawn of human history on this earth, these words were spoken: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” This has always been the plan for every successful home. Parents who try to interpose themselves and their own wishes between the young people after they are married must realize they are going contrary to the divine plan. Too many otherwise happy homes have been broken up because of interference from well- meaning, but misguided relatives. It is best to allow the young people to solve their own problems as much as possible.

 

Parents Sometimes Need to Grow Up

It is true that some who get married are not really fit for the responsibility of becoming parents. They are still children in mind and attitude. Because they have never grown up themselves, the influence upon their children may be anything but good. It is a strange thing how often one or the other parent may be unable to face the realities of life. There may even be times when the older children may have to make decisions for them! To be successful in marriage one must have a mature mind and a wholesome attitude toward others.

A person who is not mature may find it extremely difficult to reach any definite conclusion or decisions. In his confusion he may adopt childish attitudes, trying to gain his own ends by tantrums and other bad behavior. Such people may imagine they are ill, magnifying their little aches and pains out of all proportion. They may claim to be seriously sick, demanding more and more attention from those around them, when in reality they may be in good physical health. The trouble is in the mind, not in the body.

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