The Real Meaning of Marriage, Love, Relationship, Marriage, Pheromones
Marriage has been well defined as “the first two-party system of government ever devised.” This is a good definition, for marriage was never intended to be a one-sided affair. It always takes two people to make a successful marriage, but unfortunately it takes only one, through neglect or selfishness, to spoil it.
Of all human relationships marriage is the most important. Only one other takes precedence, and that is one’s relationship to God. For this reason a person should never be tempted to enter into marriage lightly. There is far too much at stake. True marital happiness depends not only on whether the individuals are well matched, but also on whether they can associate together with enduring attention and love. In other words, they must be compatible. They must be in good physical condition, enabling them to impart strong, healthy bodies to their children; and what is more important, they must create an atmosphere of harmony and good will in the home.
A successful marriage means that two entirely different individuals have blended their lives, allowing them to accomplish things together that would have been impossible for them to achieve alone. This is what makes the marital relationship so important to the entire human race. A well- balanced home is the secret of success in the community, the nation, and the world.
Marriage is a great adventure for those who are young in mind and heart. There is so much to do, there are so many places to see and so many happy experiences to enjoy together. Probably the most thrilling of all is the privilege and enjoyment of sex. Nothing contributes more to the smooth running of the home than a satisfactory relationship in this respect. On the other hand, nothing seems to cause so much trouble as failing to understand that this is a normal part of human existence. Indeed, it is a vital part of the over-all meaning of marriage. Those who fail to see the wisdom of this are not prepared for marriage.
In the beginning man was instructed to “be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.” He was to do this, not by the blind, cruel instincts that govern so many of the lower animals but by the exercise of self-control and enduring affection. It was not intended to be the sudden, selfish passion of a moment, but rather a lovely spiritual experience in which both husband and wife would have an equal share. This is the highest expression of physical love that human beings can enjoy.
In most of the lower animals the sex instinct seems to have only one purpose, to preserve the species through reproduction, whatever the cost. Once the offspring has reached the place where it can fend for itself, the parents feel no further responsibility. At this point the family relationship usually breaks up, and in most cases the parents no longer seem to recognize their young. In some species of animals the father never sees his offspring, while among others even the mother may be missing when the young are hatched.
Not so in the human family. Here things are vastly different. The young human is rather slow in reaching even the first stages of independence. There is a great advantage in this, for it means that the family must be kept intact as a unit for many years while the children grow up. Yet this close association can at times bring in certain complications, especially when there are serious misunderstandings in the home. It is tragic when the children have to suffer because of selfishness on the part of one or both of the parents.
There are some who think that life must continue according to the brutal ways of the jungle. They claim that human feelings do not matter, but this is far from true. Man was created in the image of God. He was placed in a beautiful garden home, not in a cruel, heartless jungle with no law but survival of the fittest. Although it is true that life in the jungle is often “red in claw and fang,” we must recognize that there is no real happiness there. The way to peace and true enjoyment is found only in obedience to divine law, not amid the cruel, heartless ways of the jungle.
Healthy Attitudes Toward Sex
A happy family provides the best environment in which children may grow and develop. Such a family is bound together by bonds of real love and affection. True family love springs from the mutual satisfaction and happiness of the parents in their own home life. In attaining this happy state, it is important for both to have a healthy approach toward sex. Their attitude in this matter will have much to do with their relationships toward each other and with the world around them. A healthy and happy relationship will ease the tensions of life and relieve the burden of daily routine and drudgery. It will greatly enrich their personalities, making life beautiful and truly satisfying.
When husband and wife take a dignified and sensible approach to marriage, they will appreciate and understand each other more completely. They will understand that reason and self-control are the things that set man far above the brute instincts of the lower creation. But if this high level of thinking is lacking, the marital experience may come as a severe shock, especially to a highly nervous person. It may result in considerable unhappiness, and perhaps even bring on serious nervous disorders.
Much depends on how adjustments go during the honeymoon, for this is the time when the foundations of a successful marriage are laid. Many unsuccessful marriages spring from ignorance and misinformation. Some young married people have been so misinformed that they develop a deep sense of guilt whenever they think of the other sex. This colors their whole attitude toward life and creates strong inhibitions which may bring on an attitude of coldness and lack of understanding for the marital partner. Such people often assume hypocritical attitudes, with the result that even the marriage itself may be doomed. The only solution to such problems lies in gaining a new appreciation for the true facts of life.
Although it is true that some married people live together without a well-balanced attitude toward sex, they are rare exceptions. The great majority of marital failures seem to break down at this point. Doctors are continually reminded of this, for so many of the nervous illnesses seem to arise from this source.
A thorough knowledge of the human anatomy and physiology will help in solving some of these problems that arise between husbands and wives. Each must realize that sex is one of the normal functions of life, just like breathing, eating, or sleeping. Within their proper sphere none of these should cause embarrassment to anyone, but any of them, if carried to excess, may result in weakness and ill-health.
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