Lifestyle Choices

The best way to treat indecent exposure is to ignore it and walk on. Try to move away from the man who is pressing against you in a train, bus or lift.

The way to deal with peeping Toms is to cover yourself up and inform the police. If you haven’t any curtains to draw, pin a sheet over the window until you can make curtains.

Stealing knickers is a well recognized minor fetish, so the police advise you never to leave any underwear on the washing line. It’s asking for trouble, they say.

If you feel a groping hand in a darkened cinema or other closed space you could say loudly and clearly `KINDLY TAKE YOUR HAND OFF MY KNEE,’ whereupon he will skid off. Alternatively, change seats at once, keeping an eye on the man. ` If he thinks you’ve merely moved and aren’t going to report him he’ll probably stay in the cinema,’ says Miss Kelly. ‘ Then slip off and ask the usherette for the manager, go back and point him out?

Miss Kelly also advises: `If a woman can see that she’s going to be left alone in a train carriage with a man, she would be wise to move before the train leaves or at any rate at the next station. Similarly if a man gets into a carriage with a lone woman he might think of moving: there are unbalanced women as well as unbalanced men you know.’

RAPE

What is the likelihood of your being raped? At time of writing rape is the fastest growing crime on this side of the Atlantic. The figures for England and Wales during the past sixteen years show a 56 per cent increase, and in America there has been a startling increase of 172 per cent. Avoidance is best: Easily the best method of dealing with rape, say the police, is avoidance. Particularly after dark, avoid lonely places such as commons, churchyards, alleys and waste land. On the street, especially at night and in unfamiliar surroundings be alert at all times. If a bad or potentially bad situation starts developing, the safest thing to do is run. Head for a shop building or lighted area where people are likely to be. Yell `HELP’, go to a nearby house, knock on the door and ask to telephone the police. Don’t feel silly.

You’ve only got to read the newspapers to see what can happen to hitch-hikers. A girl who’s a passenger might have no means of escape other than jumping out, maybe while the car is travelling at speed. `A woman driver should also be careful: it’s always taking a risk if you don’t know the person, not only of sexual assault or an uncomfortable situation, but of robbery. A car can be a moving prison cut off from help from the public,’ commented Miss Kelly. `You wouldn’t invite a stranger into your house but you do so in a car where you’re likely to be more vulnerable.’

The majority of situations of possible attempted rape, situations which can get out of hand, are with pick-ups who don’t seem to be pick-ups to the woman: ‘She might ask a purely casual acquaintance back home for a cup of coffee without knowing his background,’ said Miss Kelly. Be wary, not sympathetic, of any stranger who says that he’s lonely: there might be a good reason for this sad state. ‘A woman who goes anywhere alone, to a garage, a flat, or any closed place, at the invitation of an unknown man or casual acquaintance, is putting herself at risk. In fact, unless a woman knows a man very well she must remember that many cases of complaint have been lured somewhere on a simple and innocent pretext.’

When you’re alone in the house, never open the front door without looking through a peephole and operating a heavy chain. This sensible precaution costs less than a restaurant meal.

Try and make your house as secure as you possibly can. If it’s terribly difficult to get into a place and a sexual marauder has to make a noise, he’s less likely to persist.’ A burglar opportunist is a minimum risk.

But what if you’re actually attacked? Predictably Miss Kelly said, I can’t tell women whether or not to defend themselves : all situations are different. So is the timing, the woman’s ability and strength, and her level-headedness.

‘ To introduce more violence into the situation may be disastrous. If you yell, whether it’s a scream for help or a blood-curdling battle cry, he may put his hands round yourthroat to stop you and squeeze too hard and too long.

`However, should you wish to defend yourself don’t be afraid to hurt someone who’s hurting you. If you’re caught by surprise and don’t think you can run away or have nowhere to run to, you might use something you’re wearing as a weapon. Probably the best thing is the heel of your shoe (holding the shoe by the sole) or maybe your belt buckle, umbrella or handbag. If your arms are free you might try to stick your fingers in his eyes and if you scratch him hard the marks will be unmistakable as a later possible means of identification.’

If you’re grabbed from behind don’t try to flick him over your left shoulder unless you really know what you’re doing. Try to stick your elbows backwards and upwards into the top of his solar plexus, just under the centre of the rib cage. Try it on yourself with your left fist and you’ll see that just a little thump leaves you gasping.

What if you’re attacked at home? Should you invest in knives or air- guns?

`I can only tell you the law,’ said Miss Kelly, looking a trifle uneasy. `If someone’s trying to enter your house by force you can eject him by force or stop them entering by force. There are certain cases where it is justifiable homicide and one is if it’s the only way to stop a really outrageous crime such as an attempt to murder or rape when a woman uses whatever she has to hand, such as an umbrella. Anyone else who comes upon the scene can do likewise.’

I personally think that knives, guns, fake guns and bedside empty milk bottles are dangerous to use against somebody stronger than you since they can be turned against you. It’s introducing violence into a situation which might have become violent and uncontrollable, and now certainly will.

Going to the police: If you are raped you are supposed to report it to the police as soon as possible.

If you want to prosecute don’t change clothes, don’t take a shower, and don’t wash away any evidence because you feel unclean. You should be prepared to recount the horror, because the police will (as soon as you feel able to talk coherently) want every detail of what happened, where he touched you, etc. This may be humiliating, but it is necessary if they are going to try to trace a man (who has perhaps raped before) and then prosecute him before a judge and jury.

Don’t expect tea and sympathy from the police. It’s not their job to provide it. It’s their job to get your statement, get evidence and get after the villain as fast as possible.

A police station is not a hospital. If it’s four o’clock in the morning don’t expect them to have hot milk at the ready, or a spare greatcoat, or a spare police doctor waiting to examine you. They may need your clothing for scientific examination for blood, seminal and other stains, tearing or other similar evidence for possible use in court. They might have a blanket.

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