Lifestyle Choices

It is easy to become accustomed to a certain way of living, so much so that sometimes you forget that you actually do havethe freedom to change it. You don’t have to eat three meals a day, watch television in the evenings or stay all day at home with the children. You don’t have to live with your mother- in-law, your parents or even your spouse. It is your life and you have the freedom to choose how you want to live. This may seem obvious, but it is sometimes difficult to act on your freedom because:

• You are too depressed to act. Sometimes it is a good idea to wait for the slightest upswing in your mood and then act, make yourself act.
• You are too depressed to know what the best action is. You probably need to talk to somebody.
• You judge your considered action as unfair on another. This may well be a false argument, which you are using to stop yourself from acting. It is far more unfair on both yourself and the other when you live in an atmosphere of repressed resentment.
• You are out of touch 4th any feeling that would give you some impetus. It is useful to find a way of reaching emotional or body feeling.

l You are under the thumb of another - spouse, parent oranybody else (see the case history below) — and do not dare to challenge the rules. Consider what you have got to lose if you do challenge the person or their rules.

Time away from home

There may often be situations at home that make you irritated and deplete your energy. If you are a mother or father stuck at home with young children, there are little things you can do to help. You can find a way of expressing your frustration creatively and you can talk to somebody. Remember that most other parents of young children have all the same problems as you. You can make sure that you give yourself time away from the home — perhaps you could find another mother who could look after your children, and vice versa, so you can take an afternoon off a week and later a day off. There may be a good creche your young child can go to while you keep your body and mind in trim. If you find it difficult to leave your children with someone they don’t know very well, make sure you get some time off by leaving them with your partner. You do not need to be housebound. Some mothers do not get out for fear of hurting their children and feeling “bad mothers” but:

• There is no evidence of any damage to children if the person looking after them can cope and is not emotionally cold.
• When you have had a break, you can give much more to your child with heart rather than duty. Quality of time is more important to both you and your child than quantity.

When you do get off, do something completely different and exciting and don’t let anyone talk about children.

Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)
CHANGING THE SITUATION AT HOME

• Are you feeling a need for space and privacy?
• Don’t let your Kids feel like this
• Past history and personality
• How Does the Fact that You Have a Career and Children Compare with your Siblings' Lives?
• Changing the Situation at Work
• Do You Ever Feel GUILTY? If So, What About?
• Insecurity and Loss
• Dealing With the Life Event
• YOUR ATTITUDE AND YOUR FAMILY'S
• Life non-events: Loneliness