`They don’t Take My Career Seriously.’
`Mummy, Sally’s got a huge tummy, hasn’t she?’ Natalie observed, inches away from the aforementioned bulge, which looked even bigger than normal encased in a puce pink floral minidress.
`Yes, Natalie, she’s got a little baby in there,’ I said, relieved that Sally was pregnant and not just fat like the woman on the bus that Natalie had been staring at so fixedly the day before.
`The baby’ll be coming out soon, won’t he, Mummy, and we can see him then?’
`Yes, we will. Do you remember we talked about how your friend Amy will be a sister once the baby’s been born?’
Long silence. …
`I haven’t got a sister though, Mummy,’ she said, sadly pulling at the hem of her dress, ‘have I?’
Oh-oh, dodgy ground. Warning signs started flashing furiously before my eyes.
`I haven’t got a brother either, have I?’
`No . .’ I hesitated, wondering what was the easiest way of getting out of this one.
`Never mind, Mummy,’ she said, snuggling up close, suddenly happy again in the lightning way that only under-fives can manage, ‘we’ve got each other.’
Happy family moments are best savoured and memorized to be replayed over and over again through the years to blot out the petty squabbles and teenage confrontations. We all hate the idea that history repeats itself and that we will turn into our mothers, having the same arguments with our children that we had with them. I hated mine saying: ‘No, you can’t do that, you’ll understand why when you’re older and have childen of your own.’ I used to think that was a feeble argument because it seemed unlikely, if I couldn’t understand then, that a few more years would make any difference at all? The maddening thing is that, of course, as soon as I had Natalie, I did understand and appreciated most of the things that my parents had done for me because I knew that they had acted out of love and concern for my welfare.
According to the women who contributed to this book, how your mother will feel about you combining work and family life very much depends on what she did. Some 65 per cent of their mothers worked while they were young- either full time or part time - and 67 per cent said that they received no pressure from their mothers to stay at home and bring their children up.
But when it came to how their partners’ parents felt - the ‘dreaded’ in-law factor - there was nowhere near the same level of understanding: 26 per cent said their in-laws really did not like them working, or had not made their feelings clear. Only 13 per cent had voiced their wholehearted support.
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