Lifestyle Choices

`If I am ill, I keep working unless I’m dying (not literally). I have an excellent family who would help me if Charlotte was ill. The nursery has plenty of staff so I never have to worry. If any of them are ill, they have cover.’

Karen, 28, caterer

Feel as the company is paying me to work seven hours a day for so many days in the year, that it is up to me to be there, unless I am genuinely ill; I take any other time off as holidays, or possibly unpaid. It is not the company’s responsibility that I have a child, although I would expect them to show compassion in a real emergency, as I hope they would if it was a partner or parent who was ill.’

Audrey, 41, admin supervisor

I always have a back-up organized. I have never needed to take time off because of child illness.’

Sue, 35, training manager

`If I’m ill, I struggle to cook and look after Emma as usual I save annual leave for when Emma or my carer is ill, and use flexitime or other help.’

Maria, 33, accountant

`If I am ill, my mother or my husband looks after the children. When Jennifer broke her leg badly last year, and had to stay home for two months, my mother and I staggered the childcare. When my father was ill last summer, I decided to find a nursery for James because up until then Mum had looked after him, and when Mum was ill this year, I looked after my Dad while she was in hospital. I am now busy making up my lost working hours!’

Joanna, 37, local government officer

`If my children are ill Sunday to Friday, I look after them. If they are ill on a Saturday (however bad they are) my parents have to take over. I get booked up to take wedding photographs up to two years in advance, so I cannot and don’t let people down.
Pam, 32, wedding photographer

`On one occasion, when my son was ill, I took him in the car with me to visit my patients. He forgot he was ill and enjoyed himself enormously because all the elderly made afuss of him’

Bushra, 43, community staff nurse/part-time staff nurse

`In the past I’ve not gone to work. For long-term illness, my parents came zoo miles to care for my youngest. The conflict between being a good mother and working full time does get me down when the children are ill. I have sent my son to school with tonsillitis, because I thought he only had a cold; I felt rotten afterwards when I realized what was really wrong with him. I have also taken a day off and he has seemed fine by 9.3o am!’
Denise, 39, teacher

`My husband and I try to share the responsibility of having to take days off when Ben is ill. When he or I are ill, we look after each other. Luckily the nursery is never ill!’

Tracey, 31, sensory analyst

`I stay at home and pretend that I’m ill, or my partner stays at home‘

Patricia, 39, operating theatre sister

I panic and phone my mother. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this!’

Tracey, 3i, social worker

`If I were ill, my husband or parents would help. If my children are ill, I miss university and work. I just can’t bear to leave them with anyone else. At university it doesn’t matter, but you have to catch up — they never let you off work. At the nursing home you’re expected to try and find someone to cover for you’

Helen, 32, staff nurse/full-time student

`When I’m ill, I go to bed; I don’t believe in struggling on only get worse. In a way it is quite good because it’s the only time that I get a break from work and childcare. If my child is ill, my husband and I do shifts. Fortunately, his work is quite flexible. If my carer is ill, my mother-in-law helps out or we do shifts as before. My employer is resentful and gets exasperated if I need time off.’

Victoria, 34, chartered accountant

`I’ve been lucky. I’ve only had one illness in the family. I just
rushed offwithout explaining and nobody missed me! Sad really’
Janette, 3o, senior systems analyst

`I call on my mother in an emergency. My employer reacts very well, but his children are exactly the same age so he’s very understanding.’

Caroline, 31, corporate PR manager

`I used to phone around my friends frantically when I needed time.’ help with my first baby, but now I put the children first every
Jayne, 38, estate agent

What do you tell your employer if you need time off?

`It depends, my job is very flexible — so sometimes I’m honest and sometimes I don’t tell. I do believe, though, that it’s better to be frank. Motherhood is something to be proud of, and an employer can consider having priorities responsible.’

Julie, 3o, business manager

If the children are ill, I have to ring in and say that I am sick or take unpaid leave/holiday. No allowance is made for sick children in the NHS’

Joanna, 43, casualty nurse

`I take time off immediately and then negotiate time in lieu or special leave with my boss at a later date. I tell the truth — but I invest in the service. I provide a high level of quality and commitment, so expect understanding and support if need leave’
Judith, 36, chartered physiotherapist

‘I tell my employer the truth and have to take the time off out of my annual holiday entitlement’

Di, 3o, quality control supervisor (Food Industry)

`I’ve been honest in the past, explaining that my childminder is ill. This was not treated sympathetically, so next time I will say that I’m ill.’

Alison, 37, senior registrar (Obstetrics & Gynaecology)

`I tell the truth: my family comes before my job. When I had a female boss, she was very difficult — she had employed a full- time nanny. My male boss was very understanding, and would stand in for me himself.’

Carol, 45, teacher

`When I was honest, I was docked a day’s pay, so now I lie and say I am ill’

Sarah, 37, college lecturer

`My employers react very well. One has children of his own, and the other doesn’t but appreciates honesty, i.e., that I don’t ring in sick myself.’

Sarah, 28, regional administrative officer

`I tell my employer the truth, because we have a good special leave procedure.’

Marcia, 35, Royal Mail collections manager

`There are three of us who work together and all have young children. We cover for each other. Any overtime incurred by covering is taken as time back. My immediate manager is quite understanding if I need time off, providing that we organize cover between ourselves.’

Jackie, 32, practice nurse

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