Lifestyle Choices

`Male attitudes must change; men expect wives to take on a job, do the school runs, cook and clean etc. and still want sex at night. My ex-husband’s attitude was: “Well, you wanted to go back to work, so you can fit it in with all the other jobs.”‘

Raye, 49, PA

`I think things are getting more difficult for working mothers rather than easier, because there is an office culture now that says it’s not the quality of your work that matters, it’s the hours that you put in that counts. If you leave on time, you’re not seen as being committed to the organization. There is a huge drive within many organizations to reduce costs, so people are made redundant or not replaced and those that remain are expected to work harder and harder. This turns many people against returning to work after the birth of a first child. In many organizations good, skilled labour is in short supply. Where I work we need good, skilled nurses. So, I really feel that we have no choice. We have to be considerate to people’s family needs and value people’s lives outside work or we will continue to lose good people.’

Annie, 42, NHS chief executive

`Our children rely on us to care for them, whether in paid employment or not. No one is perfect, but provided we manage to care for them, and love them, and they know it, I cannot see that it makes one iota of difference whether women work or not. After all, many fathers are loved, needed, and play a part in family life while they work.’

Margaret, 47, senior medical laboratory scientific officer

The Government should do its duty and make available proper childcare facilities. Women are a vital part of our working community and should not have to choose between motherhood

and careers.’

Susan, 27, insurance clerk

`When we can talk about working fathers, we’ll be getting there. Families ought to be made on the premise that they are an economic unit and discussions on who does what should be clearly sorted before children appear on the scene.’

Jean, 44, senior probation officer

`I’m lucky to be living and working in France where facilities exist for working mothers. All children are treated the same and no woman feels “abnormal” or guilty.’

Kerry, 36, application support & training fordeveloping countries

`For the past 10 years I’ve been writing articles saying that it’s going to get easier, but actually I’m pessimistic. The United Kingdom lags behind Europe and employers are blinkered.’

Penny, 39, freelance journalist/editor

`Being a working mother is stressful and lonely. You realize that you are in a minority and sometimes wish that you had sufficient money to be able to give up for a year or so. Having said that, my children are wonderful and I often feel very sorry for the childless high-fliers.’

Kate, 3o, charity manager

`I think we women need to accept that we are not the same as men. We have maternal feelings that result in guilt if we arrange our lives as men do. I hope future working mothers will realize this and organize their lives accordingly. A marriage partnership is a team life and we bring different talents into it. What we need is more recognition for a mother’s talents, and acceptance of the fact that it is a valuable and worthwhile job. My husband loves his children, but he still trots off to the other side of the world to work — whereas I could never ever do that.’

Ann, 41, chartered accountant

`Women must get better wages. Earning a reasonable wage would make life easier. Most working mums are paid less than £5 per hour for responsible, demanding jobs. This is not a fair rate.’

Jean, 44, doctors’ receptionist/typist

`I wonder if the women who fought so hard for emancipation and the vote would have dreamed that women would ultimately be accepted in society to do a “man’s job” in the office, then come home and, wearing their “domestic engineer” hat, do another full-time job. The only thing we do seem to be able to control is the timing and frequency of our pregnancies (if we’re lucky). Otherwise, I believe that women now may not be any better off than their Victorian counterparts.’

Jane, 33, local government manager

`The number of working mothers is on the increase. This is a good thing if it is because women do not want to waste their education/skills/training. I believe, however, that it is also due to the fact that people’s material expectations are higher, and this is not a good thing.’

Victoria, 34, chartered accountant

`I love my children to bits and would die for them, but if I had my time again, I wouldn’t bother having them. I do not feel that I am very maternal and the older they get the brighter the light at the end of the tunnel is getting. I can see unlimited freedom

Coming up and, quite frankly, I can’t wait. I think I have done my bit and devoted years to my kids and an ungrateful ex- husband. It’s my turn now!’

Joanna, 43, nurse

`13y the end of the 20th century, I hope that I am still a hardworking wife and mother. I have fulfilled my role in setting up our new business and have new ambitions which I want to pursue. My dream is to write a book, so if I start now and find a few more hours in the day, I just might complete it.’

Francesca, 31, horse breeder/business partner

`Our job role has changed so much in society, but we are still expected to be a wife, mother and to work. I think the men are slowly coming round, however, to helping us in the house.’

Sue, 35, training manager

`There should be more job shares. More people should work fewer hours. Our whole employment set-up is wrong in this country.Afew people are doing all the work and are overworked; many are out of work and would love to work. We need to share the work for the benefit of all men and women.’

Mary, 46, teacher

`I would say that any mother is a working mother, and if a woman wants to be with her children full time and can afford to, do that, it is her decision, and she deserves recognition for having a worthwhile occupation. On the other hand, if she wants to have a career outside the domestic environment, then that’s fine too, and she should be given support, both by the Government (where have all the state nurseries and after-school clubs gone?) and by her friends and family. No one choice is more worthy than the other.’

Deborah, 36, freelance journalist

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